Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
