I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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