is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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