my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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