I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
