every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
