I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
