My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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