It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
