Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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