thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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