I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
