Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
