theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
