Don't you send me to vm
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
