Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
