I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
