he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
