Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
