This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
