she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
