haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
