i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
