It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
