i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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