My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
