Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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