Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
