Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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