just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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