You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
