I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
