oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
