Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
