dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
