The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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