Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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