Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
