too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
