Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
