Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
