nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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