My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
