Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
