This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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