Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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