none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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