youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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