I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
