His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
