Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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